


The Mortifying Ordeal of Fake Marriage

by sanguinity



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Elementary (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fake Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:53:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26979874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanguinity/pseuds/sanguinity
Summary: Joan understands Rosa's need to keep their relationship a secret. What surprises her is Rosa's need to keep their FAKE relationship a secret, too.
Relationships: Rosa Diaz/Joan Watson
Comments: 12
Kudos: 27





	The Mortifying Ordeal of Fake Marriage

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on [tumblr](https://sanguinarysanguinity.tumblr.com/post/631799538905169920/i-would-love-to-hear-about-joan-and-rosa-being).

“Do we have to wear rings?” Rosa asked. “Everyone will know if we wear rings.”

Joan looked up from the velvet box in her hand. “We don’t have to wear rings, no,” she replied evenly. “But it’s going to be a lot harder to pull off our ‘happily married’ cover story if we’re trying to keep anyone from knowing that’s our cover story.”

There was a rightness to being with Rosa that still surprised Joan daily, but sometimes Rosa’s obsession with keeping their relationship under wraps ate at Joan’s brain. Holt knew and Sherlock knew, of course – she couldn’t imagine what it would take to keep something secret from either of them – but most people in the Nine-Nine and Major Crimes assumed that she and Rosa were little more than drinking buddies. Some of the crasser members of Major Crimes – Nash and Pembroke foremost among them – had made dyke jokes about them before Gregson had shut it down, but that was just straight-up hopeful harassment rather than any real belief that Joan and Rosa were together. Joan might have preferred to tell Marcus and Gregson, but it was okay with Joan – _mostly_ okay with Joan – that Rosa didn’t want to go public. 

But there were still days when Joan couldn’t quite shake the feeling that maybe Rosa was marking time, waiting for something better, and didn’t want the inconvenience of a publicly-acknowledged relationship when she found it.

Joan put the box down on the table with a sigh. “Look, maybe you and Santiago should be the ones going undercover on this, if you’re so concerned about anyone at the precinct finding out we’re together. Or you and Sherlock, I mostly trust him not to make a pass at you.”

Rosa squinted at her. “Why are you being so weird about this?”

“I’m being weird? You’re the one being weird.”

Rosa shrugged. “I’m always weird.”

Joan didn’t deny that – in some ways, living with Sherlock had been a warm-up act for dating Rosa. She grimaced. “Look, I’m fine with you wanting to be private about us at work. I get it, I really do. But this?” She tapped the ring box with a finger. “You can’t even stand them thinking we’re _fake_ -together.”

Rosa shrugged again. “I don’t care if they think we’re fake-together.”

Joan put her hands up in the air.

“I don’t!” Rosa insisted. “I care about them _knowing_.”

“Knowing what? That we’re fake-together?”

Rosa scrabbled for the box, pulled out one of the rings, and jammed in on her finger. “Look, it’s a fake ring, it means exactly nothing. So whatever they think this means,” she waggled her fingers at Joan, “they’re wrong, because it means nothing. _Nothing_.” Rosa looked at her expectantly. 

“…and we’re _not_ nothing,” Joan ventured. “Which means they’ve got it wrong.”

“Exactly. But when we take them off again…” She removed the ring, displaying her naked hand.

Joan frowned. “They’ll think we’re not married. Exactly like they do now.”

“No, they’ll _know_ we’re not married,” Rosa corrected.

“So what? They already know we’re not married.”

Rosa glanced away, stony. “We could be married. They don’t know.”

Joan watched her for a moment. Rosa was stiff with discomfort, and Joan suspected that she had missed something somewhere. “Why do you care?” she asked.

Rosa glared at her.

Joan’s eyebrows went up. “Rosa Francesca Diaz,” she breathed. “Are you…?”

“Don’t make me burn things.”

Joan couldn’t keep back the laugh. “Are you saying you want to be married to me?”

“That’s not how you ask.” Rosa’s glare told Joan almost everything she wanted to know.

“It won’t be a secret, you know. Marriages are a matter of public record.”

Rosa shrugged. “They’re detectives. They shouldn’t need us to tell them.”

Joan smirked, amused. “We’re telling my family, though. And yours.”

Rosa made a face. “Telling them what? You haven’t asked me anything.”

Joan stepped forward, putting her hands on Rosa’s waist. Rosa watched her suspiciously. Joan felt unaccountably nervous, even though she knew that Rosa wouldn’t let her ask the question if she intended to say no. Rosa wasn’t cruel, and she didn’t like scenes. Joan took a deep breath.

“Rosa Francesca Diaz, would you do me the very great honor of marrying me?”


End file.
